When your flight is several hours, cross country, or an overnight redeye flight, getting an entire row to yourself can make your flight more comfortable. These seven tricks can turn what could have been a miserable overnight (or long) flight into a flat bed flying experience.
On some flights having your own row is better than flying in First Class. Say what? Yep, that’s because you can lie flat and stretch out.
Although I wouldn’t choose an entire row in coach over flying in Business or First Class on American Airlines’s A321 flight from Los Angeles to New York or San Francisco to New York.
But how exactly can you score an entire row to yourself on the plane? Here’s how to get an entire row to yourself (or at least an empty seat next to you).
Contents
1. Eat Refried Beans
Refried beans will create more than space in your belly
“Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot.” Need I say more?
Plain and simple, eat refried beans, broccoli, cabbage or some other food item that gives you gas.
Your seatmates won’t be able to clear out of their seats fast enough to find another row.
2. Eat Buffalo Wings
Buffalo Wings – hot going in and hot going out
Another way to clear the seats next to you is to eat buffalo wings or anything with buffalo wing sauce before or during your flight. Eating hot sauce can give you serious body odor.
And you should be seriously dedicated to get an entire row to yourself because buffalo wings can cause stomach issues and diarrhea. (Not what you want to have during a long flight.)
Garlic can also cause body odor. So eating garlic bread could be a better option.
3. Wear Lots of Perfume
Putting on lots of perfume can make you stink
If you’d rather skip the buffalo wings, you can mimic body odor by wearing lots of perfume. The eau de toilette smell may drive people away. But remember you only want to mimic the smell of a toilet and not actually smell like one.
4. Take Off Your Shoes
Stinky shoes = empty seat next to you
Got stinky feet? Take off your shoes and fan the odor away from you and towards the people sitting next to you on your flight.
5. Fake Being Sick
Your weapon in the plane seat wars – used Kleenex
Fake a cold by blowing your nose and or coughing a lot will almost guarantee that no one will voluntarily sit next to you.
6. Travel With a Baby
Your bundle of joy might not be so joyful to other passengers on a plane
It’s all about you and your vacation right? So bring your baby and who cares what the other passengers think. Or just pretend you have an infant by holding a blankie close to your chest and making soothing noises. If the fake baby routine doesn’t work, the people near you will think you’re crazy and move.
7. Pick Your Nose
You can’t pick your seatmates, but you can pick your nose
Kick up the gross factor by picking your nose. This totally creeps me out and it’s all I can do to not hand someone a Kleenex. You can be sure I’m hand sanitizing everything that person touches.
Keep in mind that these travel hacks will only work if there are empty seats on the plane. If your flight is full, no matter how matter how many of these tricks you use you’re out of luck.
Conclusion
You can get a whole row to yourself on a plane by following these simple tips.
Drive away your seatmates by preplanning and eating refried beans and buffalo wings before your flight.
Or use the stink factor to your advantage by wearing lots of perfume and taking off your shoes.
You can also fake being sick or picking your nose. Even going as far as faking that you have a baby.
Have you ever used one of these tactics to get an entire row to yourself on a plane?
Disclosure: This was a tongue in cheek post, not to be taken seriously. I do not endorse or recommend, nor have I tried any of these tricks to get a row to myself on a plane. Having just flown a redeye across country, in a fully booked flight and my upgrade didn’t clear,
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Great tips and funny as well, I think I might be trying to fake being sick
Hi Ana,
Sorry for the late response. Thanks, let me know how fake being sick worked for you.
That was the funniest post I have read in a long time!
There is always that moment of hesitation when the plane is loaded up and folk are gathering moment to attack the empty row of seats! Who will get their first!
Seat guru (you probably covered it on this blog) is a great way of choosing a seat: http://www.seatguru.com/
Hi Ian,
Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. I wrote it after one of those “why did I take a red eye” flights.
Love Seatguru, I use it all the time. 🙂
OMG, I know this is for giggles, but I’m doing it! I’m totally faking being sick! I’d do pretty much anything to get an entire row! LOL
Love these ideas for your own room!! I never would have thought to try to get one on purpose.
As a flight attendant, I see it all. I have seen people that do these very things! It is so awkward.
Thanks for the laugh. There is no way I would try any of these (other than traveling with kids because that is my reality). I’d rather not annoy anyone and simply just hope for the best. My husband and I got a row to ourselves on our last flight for no reason at all!
Lol. These are funny, but helpful tips. I like the idea of faking that you are sick. I might give this a try.
This is hilarious! I will probably use the fake sickness but not the others because i myself will get annoyed. Haha
With my luck I would do all these things and the plane would be full. These are some great ways to get your own row on a plane. It would definitely be comfy.
These are funny, but true!! I travel a lot and avoid these people!
Hahahaha, this is too funny! I may have to show this to my mom the next time she flies! Thanks for the great laugh!
While these tips are funny the last few flights I have been on have been full so farting or having bad body odor would have just made things super awkward. So, not good tips at all.
LOL – hilarious! I always avoid these people on the plane (when it’s not assigned seating) whenever possible! lol
Haha, these tips would only work if the plane wasn’t full. It has been a long time since I have flown on an airplane. I hope that I can fly overseas in the near future.
Oh goodness, have you done this to people? I’d be so upset if I were them!
This was funny and slightly gross. I have found that if you check your seat the day before or of and leave a middle seat you can usually keep that seat free if the flights not packed. There is nothing worse than flying cross country in the middle seat.
Oh my gosh, this post is hilarious! I love having a row to myself but never in a million years would I have thought of any of these ideas. You crack me up!
These are hilarious! I’d be too afraid of getting booted from the flight to try them, but the laugh enough may be worth it.